So, I have been MIA for a few months. Life gets so busy and the days seem to fly by. Where is my life going? I definitely don't feel like I'm in the driver's seat. Even if my day has a plan, that plan usually changes a few times and I either end up not getting something done or I have to rearrange the world to accomplish something that should have been fairly minor.
I'm still struggling with my depression and although some natural meds are helping, I still feel like retreating most days. Staying safe inside my "hole" where I don't have to face anyone or any questions. It's a lonely place to be, but God sticks close by my side and if not for Him, I'm sure I would be in a straight jacket somewhere, no, really.
So, I just take one day, one hour, one moment at a time. I do what I can and try not to obsess about the rest. It's hard to show yourself grace or at least, it is for me. I should be able to do it all, right? The cooking, cleaning, errand running, child rearing, laundry washing, homework helping Supermom, right? Well, I have had to die to the fact that no, I'm not Supermom, not even close. My floors are dusty, my laundry needs folding and my dishwasher needs to be emptied. I may or may not make dinner depending on what my afternoon brings. But, It's ok. I'm not perfect and trying to be is just too exhausting. I doubt I will scar my kids if they don't participate in some kind of sport right now. I doubt they will remember that sometimes I'm just too tired to play Go Fish. I'm learning to give myself a break. The world will go on, clean laundry or not. And when I do get a few extras done, then Yay for me!