So, I have been MIA for a few months. Life gets so busy and the days seem to fly by. Where is my life going? I definitely don't feel like I'm in the driver's seat. Even if my day has a plan, that plan usually changes a few times and I either end up not getting something done or I have to rearrange the world to accomplish something that should have been fairly minor.
I'm still struggling with my depression and although some natural meds are helping, I still feel like retreating most days. Staying safe inside my "hole" where I don't have to face anyone or any questions. It's a lonely place to be, but God sticks close by my side and if not for Him, I'm sure I would be in a straight jacket somewhere, no, really.
So, I just take one day, one hour, one moment at a time. I do what I can and try not to obsess about the rest. It's hard to show yourself grace or at least, it is for me. I should be able to do it all, right? The cooking, cleaning, errand running, child rearing, laundry washing, homework helping Supermom, right? Well, I have had to die to the fact that no, I'm not Supermom, not even close. My floors are dusty, my laundry needs folding and my dishwasher needs to be emptied. I may or may not make dinner depending on what my afternoon brings. But, It's ok. I'm not perfect and trying to be is just too exhausting. I doubt I will scar my kids if they don't participate in some kind of sport right now. I doubt they will remember that sometimes I'm just too tired to play Go Fish. I'm learning to give myself a break. The world will go on, clean laundry or not. And when I do get a few extras done, then Yay for me!
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You are a wonderful, beautiful, charming, precious child of God - and with credentials like like, you can do anything!!
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True, but also, you have so much to do, it's no wonder you feel overwhelmed - you should. This is normal - it's part of life, and there is not a whole lot you can do about it - sounds to me like you are doing all you could be - but i would like to see you include giving yourself a break - a big one.
You work hard, and you make time for your children, let someone help with the other stuff - let a friend take the tot for a few hours - and do something for you, NOT laundry, cause we all know it will be there if you do it or not, it never disappears!
God is with you in so many ways, and you know it - your armor is taking dents, and that's what it's for - so i will continue to pray for you, and trust in Gods best for you, and i pray you find peace daily - whether it's in the word, or in the bathroom - He will provide what you need!
Love you honey,
Cory
Oh it is so good to see you back to blogging. I understand depression, I suffer from it myself. It is very hard at times, but let us not forget that the Lord will never forsake us. I'm praying for you girl.
ReplyDeleteAw, you girls bless my heart. Thank you!!
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