Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Darkest Before the Dawn

We all have good days and bad, it's just part of life. But, lately I find myself with some very bad days. I am trying to cling to Christ to get me through this, but I am so weak and I feel so tired. I know God will never give us more than we can handle, but wow, I just don't think I can handle much more. My instinct is to retreat, to hide, to sleep. It is a lonely feeling, but it is not my instinct to reach out for help. My friends are all so great and loving. I know they are there for me no matter what I need. But, on days like today, I want the darkness of my room, shades drawn, and my pillow.

I know my God will deliver me, I KNOW it. His timing is not my timing. So, I am praying that He will rescue me from this darkness and fill me again with His light His beautiful, awesome light. I have been in this place before and the only thing that got me through was Jesus. He will again, I trust that, I trust Him. I put my faith and my hope in Him for everything, all the things that seem so overwhelming right now. He can fix them all, deliver a miracle, make it all fade away. He CAN, I have witnessed it before. And I believe He will rescue me again.

My friend calls the little blessings He sends, cups of grace. He gave me a cup of grace today. A friend that called out of the blue to check on me. She had no idea what I'm struggling with, but she reached out to ask. She was my cup of grace today. For her, for that call, I am grateful.

For my friends that are there no matter rain or shine, thank you and I love you. If someone you love is on your heart today, please call them. You may just be the cup of grace that they needed.


  1. ::hugs:: I wish we were closer cause I would love to hang out with you.

  2. Thanks for sharing your feelings. I am praying for you. Thanks also for reminding us how important it is to listen to that little voice so that the Lord can use us to be that "cup of grace".

  3. oh, sweetie - i have been praying for you, was thinking about you earlier. I know it's hard - and you are doing the right things - and the doctor - i hope that helps. i can't give advice - you already have heard everything, i am sure, and it's not a matter of doing or willing your self to do things - it's a battle, and you are the one in the fight. Only thru God and His words will you be delivered, so surround yourself, and surrender to Him, feel what you need to, and go thru this. There is an other side to come out on - this you know. He will give you strength and courage, and will be your light!
    Love you,